An Open Letter about the Final Solution to Global Warming and How to Save
It is amusing to listen to the whines and panting of the EcoNazis as they grind and blubber over the environment. This is a most unusual political scheme as it seems that any change in temperature, weather, or anything else save the motion of the moons of Jupiter, may be used as proof that the earth is ready to boil. But, they may be right so we could conduct an experiment in a place where the True Belief and left-liberal politics can combine to make this program exciting a howling success. We can conduct the experiment in
THE NEED TO ACT IS URGENT:
Here are the stark facts given the True Scientists. It is best to transliterate the details for the low brow types, like us outside
“Glubel vermeeng demunds ecshun noo. Sceeentists ere-a furecesteeng a vermeeng ooff betveee 2 und 11 degrees F oofer zee next centoory. Dooreeng zee lest Ice-a Ege-a zee vurld efereged oonly 9 degrees cuuler thun it is tudey. Ve-a thoos fece-a zee fery reel pusseebility ooff a sveeng in glubel temperetoores ooff Ice-a-Ege-a megneetoode-a veethin zee leeffetimes ooff oooor cheeldree. It is nu ixeggereshun tu sey thet, unchecked, glubel vermeeng veell coose-a mure-a hoomun sooffffereeng und destruy mure-a netoorel icusystems thun hes uny oozeer indoostreeel pullootunt in oooor heestury.” [2]
“Cleemete-a stebeelizeshun veell reqooure-a un ixtremely repeed trunseeshun tooerd a cleun inergy footoore-a-oone-a besed oon suler, veend und beeumess-genereted pooer, und hydrugee fooel cell feheecles. It veell teke-a a pooerffool suceeel mufement tu oofercume-a puleeticel und curpurete-a inerteea und cetelyze-a zee cleun inergy refulooshun ve-a need in oorder tu efueed uneemegineble-a chunge-a tu hoomun und netoorel systems. Ve-a need cummeetted, skeelled, persooeseefe-a cleemete-a cummooneeceturs und edfucetes tu meke-a thet mufement a reeleety.” [3]
Well, there it is. The frantic need to get green has been explained by exalted scientists and we must save the planet. Others might have a different view, but they are WRONG.[4]
Specific Suggestions for Californians:
[1] Recycle food. Microwave your wastes and donate to a friend. Form sharing groups and pass specimens around for variety. Together, you can save the planet. Eat weeds and brush as they are low in cholesterol.
[2] Stop shooting heroin, learn how to chew raw opium, hashish and peyote and thusly save the needles and associated costs and cut down on carbon dioxide emissions. No smoking marijuana. Try poking it.
[3] Stop wearing a lot of clothes. Loin cloths, group sex and huddling are more effective. Stop wearing shoes and minimize toxic gases from grazing cows. Participate in more
[4] Stop growing wine in
[5] Stop taking showers. [You couldn’t’ tell in many parts of Oakland. anyway]. Soap will not be needed.
[6] Cars must be banned. No electricity No TV. No computers or lights. Use the roads to dry grass, cacti and weeds to conserve. Use moonlight for nighttime adventures and political rallies that celebrate the cooling of the earth.
[7] Instead of newspapers and phones use drums and sign language.
[8] Set the marginal tax rate to 110% and confiscate all the wealth so everybody can enjoy true equality.
[9] Vote for Al Gore and Hillary Clinton daily. The ballot need only have these two names on it for centuries.
If only half the Californians would adopt these simple measures, we could lower the average temperature in the
Ecological Suggestions from a Californian in Exile.
rycK
Comments: ryckki@gmail.com
[4] 21,000 Scientists Refute the Phony Global Warming Follies as The Biggest Attempt to Tax The World Has Even Seen.
Monday, January 28, 2008 10:46 AM
No comments:
Post a Comment